European Union kept grubby Britain clean
Is the UK grown-up enough to survive outside the EU?
If it is, then why, for example, did Britain need the European Union to order it to clean up its dirty beaches, and why does Britain need the EU to tell it to improve its air quality?
Like an immature and grubby urchin that needs its mother to constantly wipe its face (and its bottom), the UK evidently needs its EU mother however imperfect, over-protective or controlling she may appear to be at times - to monitor its quality of life.
Despite this, many Brexiteers - like a mass uprising of red-faced, cardigan-flapping Alf Garnetts - demand that we "take back control of our country", as if post-Brexit Britain will, somehow, be governed by millions of these typical pro-leavers from their bungalow control centres.
In reality, of course, it will be led - just as incompetently as before - by British politicians who, no longer obliged by EU law to assure our quality of life, will simply squander the money saved instead of protecting the environment.
When our coastline reverts to being covered in filth and the air we breathe is even more toxic than it is now, future generations will be truly mystified at how Britain was dragged back to its grubby urchin status or, as some like to remember it, the good old days.