Bellew causes biggest ever upset against man on one leg
EARLY on Saturday evening, a man who it transpired had played Herr Flick on 'Allo 'Allo! appeared on Pointless, but little did we know it wouldn't be the last washed-up actor to drag his leg in a comedy limp-fashion to appear that night.
With my hard-earned cash sent to Mr Murdoch, I settled down for the clash between David Haye and Tony Bellew not really knowing what to expect, other than four hours of long, drawn-out build-up, obviously.
Our guide on Sky was presenter Anna Woolhouse, who told us that "reality is real" and after "a bitter, spiteful build-up, David Haye and Tony Bellew will end the argument once and for all". My money is on them hugging like two courting teenagers at the end.
"This place is going to be ram-packed," suggested Johnny Nelson, which I think was a nod in the direction of our presenter, but many hours later it was time for the main event of the evening, Herr Flick vs Nerys Hughes.
One of those build-up clashes had featured Paulie Malignaggi, who turned up again to join Adam Smith and Carl Froch at ringside for commentary after getting a bit of a thumping and wearing a pair of shades.
"Sorry for your loss," said Smith as we wondered just how hard he had been hit, but thankfully he was still breathing as his words were drowned out by the theme from Z Cars and thousands of Scousers in the 02 Arena looked for somewhere to hide.
It was just big Everton fan Bellew's walk-on music, before Smith gave Haye a huge build-up.
"Cool, calm, ripped and ready, the sporting enigma that is David D Haye, he's long brought genuine electricity and high octane fuel to the boxing world," he said, but I was still trying to work out what the D stood for and couldn't provide a clean answer.
"Vicious verbals, the tensest of face-offs, even the odd stray punch and unacceptable comment, now the wall of noise comes from the crowd, now they have to rely on their fighting fists and ring craft towards glory and bragging rights," added Smith, or a bit of mad flailing about for a few rounds until one of them banjaxes their ankle.
It was D for Disaster for David D Haye, as he went all wobbly and started dragging his leg around and what followed, as Froch said, was "unprecedented, very extraordinary and fascinating to watch".
After five rounds of quite a big man not quite able to knock over a bigger one-legged man, Bellew finally managed it and the towel came in in the 11th round to end it.
"He is a new, massive star of British boxing, Tony Bellew, can you believe it? He was in the Rocky film, he won his World title at his beloved Goodison Park and now is the biggest upset ever," hinted Smith.
By now, Haye had got back onto his foot and it was all hugs, kisses and respect, and the D became Desperation as he begged for a rematch against a man who proclaimed himself "champion of the misfits".
"I'm a Scouser and Scousers just can't give in. I ain't scared of no man in the world, the only thing I fear is that woman back in the house, she's as crazy as me," said Bellew of his bride-to-be.
It's all very well beating a man with one leg, but you get the feeling when he got back to Liverpool, the words 'let's get ready to rumble' were running through his head as he chucked his holdall down in the hall.