Billy on the Box: An explosive Six Nations welcome in the valleys
The BBC’s coverage of the Six Nations gets more and more baffling as the weeks pass by.
England v Wales doesn’t really need much hype, but ‘THE Game’ was given the mother of all build-ups with Eddie Butler’s dulcet tones accompanied by helicopters and huge explosions in various mountains.
It got more bizarre later on as the Beeb managed to get the tedious sideshow of Ireland v Italy out of the way so they could really concentrate on THE game and Jeremy Guscott appeared with a blue hard hat on and a yellow high viz jacket in a scrapyard.
This brought great mirth to John Inverdale who kept referring to the Village People but thankfully, when we got back to the studio, Jonathan Davies and Laurence Dallaglio remained without a cowboy hat or leather biker cap to be seen.
Brian Moore may have been dressed as a native American chief alongside Butler in the commentary box but I doubt whether the Beeb’s very own Sitting Pitbull had YMCA as one of his picks as we were told he was due to appear on Desert Island Discs.
“It was mooted that I could start a row on my own on a desert island,” he snorted, as coconuts across the globe breathed a sigh of relief that it was only a radio programme.
For once he was quite calm, the explosions bringing out the worst in the normally mild-mannered Inversoft. “If Lee Dickson takes much longer to get the ball away from the base of the scrum, I’m going to run onto the pitch and tackle him myself, he’s driving me mad,” he screamed.
Dickson made a nervy start to the second period, word had obviously reached him of a threat, and he was eventually replaced before the nail-biting drama ensued at the end.
Wales scored a try and then England scored one. Or did they? Time was up on the clock and the eyes of Twickenham and the millions watching were all glued on a faceless man watching a portable up in the stand.
No try was the decision, phlegm started building in the valleys, a commentator was seen unsheathing a tomahawk wanting to know the whereabouts of Tom Jones and where was Prince Harry in his silly wee hat when you needed him? Probably away with his big brother blowing up mountains in his helicopter.
But be careful, as Inversoft said: “England v Wales is never knowingly undersold, what a riveting match.” Make sure you have a hard hat on.