Belfast Telegraph

Billy on the Box: Crikey, don’t anger George the dragon

RTE may have found the natural successor to Steve Irwin in the shape of Tom McGurk.

The Aussie was famous for prodding dangerous animals at close quarters and Tom took his life in his hands at the end of Ireland’s humbling by England at Twickers on Saturday.

“Many adjectives to describe that George, but they all begin with ‘D’ — disaster” and as Brett Pope and Conor O’Shea dived under the desk for cover, we waited. And waited. The deadliest of beats wait.

“Welllllllllllll,” came the riposte, Brett and Conor’s heads popped below the parapet again, Tom pulled on an armour-plated sports jacket and then George fooled us all be going into a strange list of names. Not a natural bedfellow of a Norwegian football commentator of the Eighties or indeed an in vogue Madonna, but he was on a roll.

“The IRFU, Munster, Leinster, Ulster and Connacht, Gatland, O’Sullivan and Kidney,” he continued but before he could utter ‘our boys took one hell of a beating’, he was off again.

“Together they take the blame for ignoring that Ireland has a scrum problem,” he added and ranted on that ‘the best props in Ireland are foreigners.’ Tsk, over here taking our money and stealing our scrum caps.

Over on the Beeb, there was a desperate attempt by Gabby Logan, dressed in her red Austin Powers outfit to mark Wales’ Grand Slam win, that this wasn’t a meaningless game.

“Try to tell 80,000 people in Twickenham that this counts for nothing. It’s England vs Ireland on St Patrick’s Day,” she pleaded, although we only ever got to see two of them in the crowd.

Owen Farrell is a fantastic player but must we see his dad, Andy, sitting looking smug every time his wee lad does something good? And must we see Prince Harry looking even more smug when England are winning?

I’d rather listen to Brian Moore singing a JLS song with Bill Beaumont but thankfully that will never happen.

It did? Crikey, I’d rather poke George the dragon in his cage.

Belfast Telegraph


From Belfast Telegraph