If you stick your nose in a hive you’re going to come out with more than a nostril full of honey and it’s the same if you attack a Summerbee in the same way.
Although, in fairness to Sky, they didn’t have much provoking to do as the Man City legend was in no mood to listen to anyone as he joined the panel for the Manchester derby clash on Saturday.
“All we do is hear people talk about Man United. We’ve got great ability and I’ve come here to tell you,” was his starter for 10 and that was him for the rest of the day.
The only thing that would have made him more angry would have been a poll to discuss the best-ever players to have played for the reds and blues, minus a certain George Best.
“I’m speechless (he wasn’t really). I can’t see how the greatest footballer never to have played in a World Cup can’t be in that side,” he said, before adding again that he was still speechless.
“It was a bit of fun,” said an increasingly nervous Ed Chamberlin, with Jamie Redknapp not helping diffuse the situation of a blue becoming more and more red by the second, adding “it’s no fun for Mike”.
“George Best was in a different world,” he countered, while Dwight Yorke, having lived with Jordan and knowing how to make the best of a bad situation, suggested that George “should definitely be in the team”, although his knowledge of “the dungheap pitches” Best played on was glossed over.
And talking of dung I was speechless too, the Manchester Marvels side didn’t have Paddy Roche, Graeme Hogg, Eric Djemba-Djemba or Peter Davenport in it.
Onto the match, Nani potted an early red, Edin Dzeko played a clever in-off on the Silva to level and then, on cue, Wayne Rooney, popped up with a trick shot John Virgo would have been proud of.
It had Martin Tyler salivating, Alan Smith was desperate to say “take a bow, son” and in the studio they were speechless — apart from Mike, obviously.
“It had to be a goal like that because we played very well and it took a goal like that to beat us,” he grumbled.
Ed tried to placate him by mentioning Pele’s similar goal in Escape to Victory, in which Mike had a speaking role, and wasn’t it nice of Jamie to pay homage to the lorry-load of eastern European players who arrived with his new crewcut look.
Jamie though wasn’t given a shower, some tinned pears and corned beef only never to be seen again, although I believe that a similar severance package was taken up by two recently appointed radio presenters.
“There were two teams. We dominated this game. I wish you’d show one or two of our chances,” as Mike wasn’t placated and then they showed the two chances the Blues created.
“They’ll be looking over their shoulders now because Manchester City are there and not too far way from being a big team. We’ll come here one day and take them apart, like we did,” before his voice trailed off in the wind muttering that in my day this was all fields and the snow was over the hedges.
Interviews came and went, even Wayne seemed enthused, but one last viewing of the goal was too much for Mike.
“That’s 18 times I’ve seen it now,” he sighed.
“How many takes did it take Pele to do that?” asked Ed. “One,” came the terse reply and, with that, he was finally speechless.