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Billy on the Box: Mavericks, please bring back my happiness again

You know it’s the summer when Sky begin the annual barrel-scraping championships with a never-ending line-up of stuff you wouldn’t watch in a month of Sundays if the footy was still about.

Yes, I know the European Under-21s are on, but let’s face it, it’s not the same, and we’re all counting down the days until the Women’s World Cup gets underway.

In the meantime, a bit like America’s foreign policy, we poke our noses into areas where we’ve no need to be going really, and there was no shortage of shock and awe provided this week.

First up, netball. And after four defeats in five Superleague finals it was a case of here comes my happiness again for the Hertfordshire Mavericks, whose senoritas swayed away with the title.

Sadly, my favourite netball side (and we all have one), Team Bath, didn’t make it, washed away by Surrey Storm, but they had no answer to the Mavericks and their sharpshooter, Louisa Brownfield (pictured).

It was no surprise that commentator Charlie Brougham said she was able to find ‘acres of space’ while presenter Ingrid Hagemann, a strange mixture of Jimmy Saville and Sian Lloyd, kept trying to tell us how important it all was.

Not as important though as the polo from London, or to give it its full name, the Mint Polo in the Park but no matter how much I flicked onto it there was never a giant sweetie being hurdled over by toffs on ponies, or even Toffos.

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But if it was big holes you wanted, then Glasgow was the place to be on Sunday as the Masters football returned with a bang, or rather, bangers and mash judging by some of the alarmingly wobbly former professionals on show.

Rangers won mainly because they had players such as Michael Mols, Alex Rae and Jorg Albertz who hadn’t immediately gone for a deep-fried pizza as soon as they left Ibrox.

They beat Motherwell, who had a captain Kirk, of the Stevie variety, but it would have taken some enterprise to beam him up as he now resembles a small planet in an ill-fitting amber jersey.

Still, not long now to the ladies show us how it’s done in the World Cup.

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