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Billy on the Box: Top dog Davis has gone a little bit loopy

After 17 days in Sheffield, Steve Davis has clearly gone a little snooker loopy.

With Hazel back in Blighty after a week at The Masters with Ken Brown’s eccentric collection of props to illustrate the point he’s making, the Nugget is at it on the baize, and not in a Tony Knowles way.

The strange vagaries of the ‘kick’ were cleared up with Davis getting some buns out. Tony, sit down. No, two of Mr Kipling’s finest were produced to prove his point. Turns out the solution was a piece of cake all along.

From being the world’s most boring man, Davis has now become everyone’s favourite uncle. The clue here is that he’s not very good anymore and with Stephen Hendry about to follow suit, he’s following that well-trodden path from the cue to the microphone.

He hasn’t quite got it yet. The daft new ‘pulse’ section in the middle of a game where you vote online for a pointless question didn’t go down well in the Hendry camp.

John Virgo excitedly asked ‘should there be spots on the cue ball?’ Here’s how to vote, followed by an awkward silence before Hendry asked: “What’s next John? A big smiley face on the yellow?’

Then we had old ginger retriever Davis (pictured) waffling on about how snooker players were like dogs with Judd Trump a red setter as he was jumping all over John Higgins, or snooker’s version of the Terminator. I’ll be on the black.

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Highland terrier Hazel lowered the tone by saying that the public had been coming along ‘watching us do our business here’, a awkward brown we didn’t need to know about and it was fitting then that Steve went to see Chas N Dave to relive the bad old days of truly awful music.

And talking of awful, the final word must go to Rod Walker, introducing wee Judd on Monday by saying ‘after his win in China he’s on an incredible roll’.

Well, it is the spring.

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