My significant other looked up with interest, put on or not, when I made an excited exclamation in bed earlier this week.
I was perusing the internet when a thing of beauty popped up on my Ipad, no, not what you're thinking you dirty brutes, no, this was an item of clothing. Again, you are way off.
This was a little black number, no, not a funny phase I am going through during lockdown, this was the new Ballymena United away kit, sitting proudly alongside the sky blue home jersey offering from the club's new supplier, Puma.
It also now means you can ask the question what do AC Milan, Manchester City, Bordeaux, Borussia Mönchengladbach (always wanted to write that) and FC Krasnodar have in common with Ballymena?
Yes, they all sport kits by the same manufacturer, and we can also throw Cliftonville into the hat for good measure too, but there are subtle differences between them. Nothing to do with style, hue or cut, it is more to do with the fact that some are being used more than others at present.
Ballymena may now be all dressed up and ready to impress but until someone makes a decision to restart football here then they have nowhere to go, like Cliftonville, still hanging around like, well, like a football top hanging in a wardrobe.
The Foals (surely you know Mönchengladbach's nickname?) returned to action last month, while Milan, City and the Bulls, sorry Krasnodar, are set to kick things off again over the weekend of June 19.
But we are still waiting. At least the good people of Bordeaux have been able to pack the Girondins' kit away for the foreseeable future with the decision taken long ago to call a halt (or an arrêt if you are that way inclined) to proceedings and partake in other much more interesting things in that fabulous area of France.
"You are not getting one of those, you loser," continued the sweet talk from my boudoir earlier in the week, the consensus being that no man in his (very) late 20s, who has wintered well, should be seen dead in a nylon sports top, well, certainly not in public.
This is sound advice. My mind instantly springs to a story a friend told me of a trip he and three fellow Ballymena United fans made to Las Vegas some years ago.
I shall call him Alexander to protect his identity and his family's embarrassment, but our famous four were walking down the Strip bedecked in Ballymena strips, two home and two away, when they were stopped by a film crew, wondering what strange nylon-clad cult had landed in Nevada.
"They're fae oor fitbal team," replied one of our intrepid vacationists, an interview that required subtitles on the local TV when it was broadcast later that day and the poor interviewer is probably still traumatised by the meeting and the static it generated.
The last Ballymena top I purchased was some time, and indeed, several sizes ago and is modelled here by glamorous assistant, who looks less than impressed.
That could apply to many canines, other animals and even humans who have worn the regalia of Irish League teams down the years. Researching this article I came across a great site - oldfootballshirts.com - where you can peruse old tops and never mind the dark web, there are some truly horrific things out there.
Linfield have been major offenders down the years, particularly in the early to mid-Nineties when that Lotto kit was doing the rounds and a Spall one before it. I still have nightmares involving Martin McGaughey and Lee Doherty, but it was probably because they were wreaking havoc whilst wearing the aforementioned haute couture.
The Glens have had some right shockers too, there was a bizarre purple number from the late Nineties and a horror show of a top from a wee bit earlier that looked like the jolly green giant had been hacked to pieces.
Cliftonville have had some encounters with luminosity, there was that weird time in Crusaders' history when they abandoned stripes, and Portadown, like Edwina Currie, have a strange penchant for grey.
However these all pale into insignificance with the mother of god awful attire a dazzling brown ensemble that Lisburn Distillery squeezed out. We are to be thankful they wore white thus meaning it was rarely seen, but once viewed, never forgotten.
So, the jury is still out on whether I take the plunge. In fairness, it looks like I am going to have a while yet to make up my mind. Still at least the Foals and Bulls tops are on their way.