Belfast Telegraph

In terms of goals, we're really in a league of our own

Grin and tonic: Something to cheer at last for Mallards’ Gavin Dykes
Grin and tonic: Something to cheer at last for Mallards’ Gavin Dykes

By Billy Weir

I was never very good at maths so when numbers are getting to levels only usually reserved for male members of staff at the BBC then I get a little perturbed.

It was a mad weekend in the Danske Bank Premiership, goals flying around like untethered wheelie bins in a storm (and there was quite a bit of that too), starting off with 16 in the two matches on Friday night.

The 3-3 draw between Glenavon and Warrenpoint was eye-watering enough, but the goings on at Ferney Park between Ballinamallard United and Cliftonville were simply mind-boggling.

Still, if you're going to win just your second league game of the season, it may as well be memorable and 6-4 is pretty unforgettable and was just the, ahem, tonic Gavin Dykes needed.

"I'll enjoy a couple of gins tomorrow night, it's the first time the wife has probably seen me smiling in a month, so that's a start," he said.

Another 13 goals followed on Saturday, bringing, even by my shocking sums, the total to 29. Or perhaps not. On Final Score Mark Sidebottom told us 'over the next 20 minutes a whopping 45 goals coming your way - the good, the bad and the outrageous'. What's outrageous is a BBC man claiming 16 more goals that he was entitled to.

Still, 29 goals are not to be sniffed at and quite simply makes us world-beaters. I had a quick browse around leagues across the globe and no one comes close to us. La Liga had 35 goals but that was in 10 games, Serie A had a paltry 26 from a similar amount of matches played and in Ligue 1 it was 29 from 10.

Of leagues of a similar size, in Wales it was 15 from six games, in the Scottish Premiership, 17, and in everyone's favourite, the Qatar Premier League, it crept up to 21 but that was still eight (or 24) behind us.

The search went on, in the Albanian Super League it was from 15 from 5, in Greece, the Super League had a simply rubbish 12 goals from 8 matches and in the Democratic Republic of Congo Super Ligue (West) it was just 10 from five.

And spare a thought for the fans (and we all know one) of the Honduras Ligue Nacional who had just six goals from five matches.

These statistics prove a few things. I bet the Honduran Final Score is rubbish. I really need to get out more and, you know, our wee league isn't that bad.

Belfast Telegraph


From Belfast Telegraph