It's hair-raising stuff for Wo-Man City
Shamelessly, I am going to begin this piece with a blatant piece of plagiarism that one of my chums had on Facebook ahead of the Women's FA Cup final on BBC on Saturday evening.
He, for it was a man, suggested that it was remarkable that the organisers had managed to persuade 11 women to all go out on a Saturday evening in the same outfits, and, being post-feminist myself, I snorted in a derisory fashion.
In his defence, he at least didn't call them 'blonde' for that would have led to much angst but while we're on the subject, reporter Sue Smith, a woman with madly coiffured hair, most of it blonde, had outfit issues of her own to deal with.
Sent to America to catch up with Manchester City's new superstar, Carli Lloyd, ahead of the Wembley showdown with Birmingham City, Sue had something up her sleeve.
"For club and for country, she has made a sensational impact when she has pulled on a new jersey," she said, and, yep, you guessed it, we were in Kansas. No, I'm joking, we were in New Jersey, but if it's bad material you're after, Jonathan Pearce is your non-woman.
He and Smith are an unlikely double act, a bit like Les Dennis and Dustin Gee, although slightly funnier and minus the Mavis Riley impressions, but they have travelled the world in tandem.
"You and I did the World Cup final in Vancouver and to be honest if England had been there they would have put up a better show than Japan as they were blown away," he said as we wondered if diplomatic relations in that neck of the woods could get any worse.
But then I was distracted. And by hair; I know, I know, delicate.
Take a bow Demi Stokes, five foot three inches of dynamic Manchester City left-back but with her magnificent Afro hairdo she came in about seven foot six, and Wembley hasn't seen the like of it since George Berry (right) and Wolves won the League Cup in 1980.
And that was probably the last time anyone had heard The Dubliners mentioned on primetime BBC TV on a Saturday evening, ahead of an appearance with Val Doonican, but Pearce (he must have a bit of Irish in him) was about to rectify that, when referring to Man City's Megan Campbell.
"She got off to a shaky start but I am told her granddad was the lead guitarist of The Dubliners, Eamonn," revealed Pearce, although what Shakin' Stevens had to do with it is anyone's guess, but if it was The Dubliners there's a fair chance there was an old guitar playing behind a green door.
Granddad may have been famous for his handiwork but so is Megan, Pearce revealed, giving her a huge build-up.
"This is the first time we've seen a long throw from Megan Campbell and if you haven't seen it just get ready for this, this is one of the longest throws in world football, she can reach the far post of normal grounds, she absolutely arrows it in," he said and with breath firmly baited, we waited.
Straight into the arms of the keeper.
"A little bit disappointing," said a crestfallen Pearce, when what Megan really should have done was lobbed the ball into Demi's hair and she could have strolled into the net without anyone noticing.
It mattered little, Man (or Wo-Man) City won 4-1 and all that was left for a girl called Sue to do was to pick her star player and when Keira Walsh was announced it was well received in Wembley.
"Your man of the match choice got a good ovation in the stadium," said Pearce, striking a blow for Men's Lib, and before he was attacked by women everywhere and Japan, he ended on a high as the celebrations began.
"The ticker-tape sprinkles down, golden and shimmering, this Manchester City side, the golden girls of English football, have just completed the domestic treble," he said, although surely the Golden Girls was a story of a domestic quadruple?
But I am not here to ruffle any feathers, or hair, perhaps it was just a blonde moment for Pearce.