Sound of silence as BT takes an infinity
The Merseyside derby was a real cracker on Saturday lunchtime and not even Jake Humphrey and Neil Warnock could ruin things, despite their best efforts.
I have a complaint though. Setting aside the gruesome twosome, the never-ending build-up accompanied by Ray Stubbs and his microphones of many colours, daft big banners hanging everywhere and the silly pitch in the studio, there is another more sinister thing I have noticed.
Maybe it was just on Saturday, I haven't conducted further experiments, but once commentator Darren Fletcher confirms the goal you have just seen is indeed a goal there is a long and eerie pause, where airtime is filled with a mixture of crowd noise and awkward silence.
This may be twofold – (a) BT want to give you time to give someone a quick call to tell them the score or (b) Michael Owen is trying to think of something intelligent to say.
Whatever reason, it took 17 seconds between the first goal and words to be uttered, although maybe Michael was looking to talk but he'd been put through to Trevor in Mumbai instead who assured him that his call was important to him and that the boy Distin was badly at fault.
Maybe that's no bad thing, I mean Stubbs is allowed to talk freely, asking Everton chairman Bill Kenwright perhaps the strangest ever pre-match question ever.
"If you could harness the power that a derby match generates we'd be okay for renewable energy in the city of Liverpool," he suggested, with Bill, gentleman that he is, pausing for thought and replying 'well, that's a very intelligent question', and concluded that 'red and blue go together' but not to make green I would contend.
Six goals in all, with a total dead airtime of 75 seconds – yes, I am that sad. Now, if we could only transfer that into the studio, then we'd all harness purple power in the future.