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There's very little joy of Six in Cardiff and Rome

Now with the six winter sporting colossi dealt with, we can turn our attention to slightly less worthy sextet of participants as the rugby returned at the weekend.

As is the BBC way, John Inverdale was our scene-setter in Cardiff as Wales played host to old rivals, England, in the opening game of the Six Nations.

"It's that time of the year again in the depth of winter darkness, a ray of sunshine comes to carry us all into the spring," he said but I think that was a little over-stating Brian Moore's affect on us all.

His first appearance was a silent one as we crossed to commentator Eddie Butler for a quick chat to find that in front of Moore was a big bag of sweeties but, unfortunately, Haribo don't do gobstoppers of sufficient size.

After some chat with Jeremy Guscott, Jonathan Davies - confusing matters by wearing a tartan scarf - and Sir Clive Woodward, coming dressed as Del Boy, and an even more pointless Twitter poll where, surprise, surprise, England came out on top, it was over to Butler to serve up a classic.

"It's freezing outside, but inside this stadium we have reached melting pot, Good evening, Brian," he said.

"Well, anything the NFL can do, the Millennium can do as well, what a tremendous atmosphere," he began as the Wales Phlegmgathers prepared to tackle the England Wewontheworldcupyouknows.

Things couldn't have started much better, Wales rampaging into the lead and it put Brian in a wee bit of a mood as Eddie sought clarification to a scrummaging incident.

"It doesn't matter, the referee didn't give it," growled Moore, bringing a resigned 'thank you, Brian' from Butler, but it was to be all change after the break.

Indeed some of those changes meant that England had two sets of brothers on show, in the Vunipolas and Youngs, although one of them sounds slightly more English to me than the other. Those Youngs would be after Jonathan's scarf.

It was more of a muffler as, after the game we could hardly get a word out of him, or anyone given that there was a whopping two minutes of post-match analysis before we were whisked off to the red button unless you lived in Wales and all other news was superfluous.

Thankfully for Jason Mohamed, he was spared the Welsh woe in his homeland, safely despatched to Rome and he had high hopes. "Expect a true gladiatorial epic as Italy take on the champions," he promised before introducing his companions, in Carlo De Fava, a former Italian player and 'a man who needs no introduction other than to say this week a newspaper had him in the top 10 of Six Nations players of all time.'

"I have to be happy with that," replied the man with no name, who was next seen heading out for a jog in Rome in a fetching all white number.

"One of my friends calls me the snowman when I dress up in that gear," added Mr X (although it was more XXX) but he was the spitting image of Baymax in Big Hero 6.

We, in the words of Bonnie Tyler, were desperately holding out for one here never mind six in a dirge of a game. When Ireland's Call is one of the main highlights you know you're in trouble,

Eventually, though, class told and Italy surrendered but, as the man with no name concluded, 'an awful lot of that game was poor.' Well he Wood say that, it was a load of oul Keith, or something similar.

Oh, and Scotland played France in Paris with Gabby Logan dressed in a mad yellow coat and black leather trousers that made her look like a cross between Big Bird and Peter Stringfellow. And Scotland lost, bravely.

Belfast Telegraph