Belfast Telegraph

Wallabies wow in Dublin as wannabes go in jungle

Billy on the Box

It was rather fitting that on the weekend when 10 wannabes were taking their first tentative steps in the Australia jungle, a mob of wallabies from that neck of the woods was wreaking havoc in Dublin.

And things got even worse when they got out of the pub and made their way to Lansdowne Road, where the most distressing treatment of something green since Kermit the Frog stumbled into a Bush Tucker Trial with disastrous consequences was witnessed.

Yes, I'm A Celebrity ... Get Me Out of Here is back and two global sporting icons are among the intrepid explorers this time around – Steve Davis OBE and Rebecca Adlington OBE – while further north, the Aussies were hacking their way relentlessly across the green pastures of Ireland, with more of a XXXX than an OBE.

The Nugget was up first, admitting that "this is a total journey into the unknown for me." Indeed, it has been some time since Steve was in the last 10 of a competition, and added that "I can't do anything, I'm going to be lost" although that transpired to be part of Joe Schmidt's pre-match notes.

Meanwhile Rebecca, swimming's golden girl, well, in Beijing, admitted that she "definitely didn't experience snakes and spiders" in London. It is a little known fact that snakes and spiders are allergic to bronze, so she was grand.

Even on board a luxury yacht Steve was still moaning: "I don't like eating stuff that's horrible, I don't like heights, I don't like the thought of being buried underground, I don't like snakes and spiders," and all the time I had an image of the late, great Len Ganley turning up and handing him the spider as Steve contemplated a tricky brown.

But he must be an early favourite to be king as he's by far the most interesting one in there, plumping for Rebecca as a team-mate because she's "fit, in all senses of the word" and just spends his time taking the, well, let's see, it's an amber liquid and it's not Fosters.

Who else when making small talk with a multiple medal winning swimming star like Rebecca would have the wherewithal to ask with a totally deadpan face what you do when you have to go to the loo?

Rebecca held her hands up in a 'when you've gotta go, you've gotta go' admission, and later opined "that's what I'm going to be known for now – peeing." Yes, pretty much.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the world a bright new age for Irish rugby was about to be unleashed, and another blonde bombshell from the Olympics greeted us.

"Autumn in Dublin, a beautiful time of year, where green meets gold to stunning effect," said Gabby Logan, who appeared to be stalking some poor courting couple who were necking on a park bench.

"It has been a gorgeous day," she said at the side of the pitch, having been escorted out of the park by a passing Guard, and it was so gorgeous she was bedecked in a coat of many colours that Joseph would have turned down for being a bit showy, a big scarf and leather gloves.

"The noise levels have just gone through the imaginary roof if there was one," she added as the teams came out and as I was still trying to work that one out she followed it with the "pyrotechnics made Keith Wood jump higher than Bondarenko at the World Athletics Championships."

He's a high jumper, just in case you didn't know, but if it's a bar cleared you want by a bunch of athletes then look no further than a mob of Aussie rugby players, who made light of going on the lash, that's lash, Rebecca, to wallop Ireland.

It was a treat for old Neighbours fans as Henry Mitchell dived in for the first. On closer inspection it was the legend that is Nick Cummings (pictured below), all bushy blonde hair, tremendous face topiary, and waltzing through in flip-flops to score the first and belch Advance Australia Fair in celebration.

This was followed by a hooray from another Henry, Michael Hooper, less bushy, but still with headband, and by the break, Gabby, now coat-less and in a pair of brogues that left you wondering had there been a mix-up and Justin Harrison was sitting in a pair of slingbacks, switched codes.

She revealed that the rugby league World Cup was now at 'squeaky bum' stage and apparently this had left Justin, Keith and Jeremy Guscott aghast. I somehow doubt that.

A try for Quade Cooper, another for Hooper and then a blooper as the ref cam option provided us with Peter O'Mahony's considered thoughts on Tevita Kuridrani's attempt to drive him into the ground like a tent peg.

Still, plenty of time to talk about that afterwards, in the two minutes of post-match reaction we had, but let's not panic, it's only the All Blacks next. I think I'd rather go for a swim with Rebecca.

Belfast Telegraph


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