Biting Back: F1 back to boring business as usual after Hamilton Rosberg spat
I once knew a bloke who lived in Spain, except he spent 50 weeks of the year in Belfast.
For a glorious fortnight every year, he'd step off the plane at Malaga and instantly go native.
From sunrise to sundown, he'd immerse himself in all things Spanish, supping San Miguel in the tavernas, tucking into pescado con patatas fritas (fish and chips to you and me) in the Chiringuitos, tripping round the fiestas and flamencos and conversing in Spanglish with the bemused locals. Just add ‘o’ to every word.
Then on the last night, fortified by a Rioja or three, he'd look wistfully into his glass and lament: “I can't wait to be home again.” And he didn't mean Belfast.
Illusion, delusion, a harmless escape from reality, call it what you will. Anything that provides an antidote to the mundane is no bad thing.
I thought of dear, old Alan over the last fortnight as F1 motor racing went through one of its periodic spells of mildly interesting.
It tells you all you need to know about the level of excitement on the track when a supposed spat between team-mates Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg is the biggest talking point for two whole weeks.
If it wasn't manufactured like everything else in F1, it ought to have been for the interest it generated.
But like my old mate's holiday, it couldn't last and you must hope F1 enjoyed its fortnight in the sun.
After the predictable return to the ‘After you, Claude - no, After you Cecil' charade that passed for racing at Monza last weekend, its back to boring business as usual.