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John Laverty

The Premier League's Project Restart reminds me of Monty Python's dead parrot sketch, only not as funny

John Laverty


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Fantasy: Liverpool fans desperately want to see this... Jordan Henderson lifting the Premier League trophy. Illustration by Raymond Esteban

Fantasy: Liverpool fans desperately want to see this... Jordan Henderson lifting the Premier League trophy. Illustration by Raymond Esteban

Fantasy: Liverpool fans desperately want to see this... Jordan Henderson lifting the Premier League trophy. Illustration by Raymond Esteban

Last week, out of sheer desperation, I deigned to the previously unthinkable - The Home Haircut. The missus did her best, bless her, but I ended up looking like a medieval monk.

Now, every time Saint Bede the Venerable stares back at me from the mirror, I think: barber shops must reopen. Like, RIGHT NOW.

Why? Well, because I clearly need a proper haircut, and my barber needs the money. And if you agree with that line of thinking, you must be a Premier League club owner.