Derek Spence has never got over learning he had missed out on the 1982 World Cup on Teletext.
The Northern Ireland striker had been a regular in the squad that negotiated the qualifying group stages and had been one of the 18 players taken to a pre-World Cup friendly in France.
"As we returned home from France, Billy Bingham shook hands with me and said he would see me in June," said 68-year-old Spence, who scored three times for his country in 29 appearances. "What made him change his mind I will never know.
"I am not joking you when I say I still dream of being in that squad and making the trip. Then I wake up and the reality hits me.
"Jimmy Nicholl told me that he was pulled aside by Billy, who told him he had made a mistake and he should have taken me. That is no consolation.
"Two years later I was finished. I (didn't have) the enthusiasm anymore.
"When you are hurt so badly, you turn your back on football totally. You want to be your own man, earn your own living and so I bought an off-licence in Bury. It was the biggest mistake of my life. It took me seven years to get out of that one.
"I met Billy once at Bloomfield Road in the late 1980s when he was working for the club. I was doing some voluntary work for Barnardos. When he was introduced to me, he said, 'Oh yes, Derek was one of my boys'. I thought, 'Not really' but I didn't lower myself to saying it.
"Football was all about opinions and Billy's opinion of me as a striker probably wasn't as high as I thought it should have been.
"In 1982 I thought a bit of loyalty after seven years in the squad would have got you to the World Cup. At the very least he could have picked up the phone rather than let me find out on Teletext.
"I didn't watch a game at that World Cup. I lived on my enthusiasm for the game, but it had gone."